


Come Hither and Watch the World with me Burn and Shiver

by Ryebread1105



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Costia (mentioned) - Freeform, F/F, Happy Ending, She Kisses me and I feel like I'm Everything, The End, The Worlds Crumbling and Burning right in front of me, Walkers (mentioned), Zombie Apocalypse, what is love?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-07-12 19:11:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7118977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryebread1105/pseuds/Ryebread1105
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They lay in the bed of a stranger naked and sweaty and in a world run by the dead they feel alive.<br/>In a world thats screaming that she is nothing Lexa makes her feel like she is everything.<br/>She feels safe.<br/>She feels big</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Hither and Watch the World with me Burn and Shiver

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo!   
> Let me know what you guys think please!   
> I want all the criticism and critiques you guys got. As I was writing this story I took my original idea and changed it completely and I hope you guys like the new direction it went in :)
> 
> BTW the narration switches from first person in third person after the line break   
> (hopefully its not too confusing XP)
> 
> So yeah let me know what you think, id really appreciate it.
> 
> P.S. This story is unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own

The fires warm. Its orange glow casts shadows over me and illuminates the dark room with an orange tint. The wind from the open window lightly blows my blonde hair to the side.

I like having a fire place.

It’s like watching a forest fire in all its glory with all its madness kept at bay and yet still having the ability to destroy everything in its path if an ember simply hitchhikes a passing zephyr.

It leads to both salvation and destruction and im just sitting here watching it burn.

Watching it whither and crumble into ash and dust.

 I can’t seem to focus on anything but the flames.

Power courses through my veins at the very thought that if I blew too hard I could put it out.

That I could destroy destruction in its rawest form.

“Brought you some food Wanheda” Lexa said as she sat next to me and handed me a plate of baked beans and some rice we found in the cabinets.

I’ve been travelling with her for a few months now. She still don’t know my name, but neither do I. She calls me Wanheda, said it means commander of death or whatever and I guess it fits.

I don’t mind, I enjoy her presence. It calms me and reminds me that I’m not the only one going insane in this world.

“Thanks” I reply taking the paper plate.

We eat in silence not talking and its quiet, until the door suddenly opens.

It seems the wind has also sought refuge in a nearby house.

Lexa got up her brown braids flying behind her and spinning as she got up and went to close it.

We cleared out the entire area before we sought out sanctuary in one of the houses.

We know it’s clear, still we should have barricaded the door. The walkers aren’t the only thing out their lingering in the twilight, the wind just proved that.

The moon light shines through the open door as Lexa closes it. The light illuminates her blood splattered clothes.

She looks powerful. She looks big.

I turn back to the fire.

The flames steal my attention once again but the thoughts occupying my mind are not about fire, not this time.

I wonder what it’s like being in love. I think out of nowhere.

In a world like this it must drive you mad.

Threats are around every corner and you can’t promise your lover a future.

But then again their living in this world too and their aware of everything also.

Maybe it’s nice. Not living in the moment but basking in one another’s presence and not taking it for granted.

I want to say it would drive me to full on insanity but I guess I already know what it’s like.

At least I think I do when I think about Lexa.

She makes me smile when the worlds screaming at me to frown.

She makes everything okay and good when everything else bad.

She keeps me sane when I’m going crazy.

She was my salvation when I was thrown into a world of destruction.

She saved me, when I didn’t think I needed saving.

So I guess I do know what being in love is like.

Because I love her and I guess I’d describe it as a beautiful madness, a symphony of screams, a book with no words, so many oxymorons and yet when I think about her it just feels… nice and my insides feel fuzzy and warm and it’s those moments when I look at her that I think everything is going to be okay…

So yeah being in love is not insanity it’s simply… nice.  

 “Hey” Lexa came back and sat next to me once again “Where did you go?” she asked

“I dunno” I said honestly in a small voice.

We both sit in silence once again.

I look at her and she looks right back at me and I can see it in her eyes and for a spit second she looked at me like my dad used to look at my mom. She looks at me like im everything and if she told me so I swear I would have believed her.

I feel warm and the feeling is nice. And for a moment I thought that maybe just maybe Lexa loves me too.

She is staring at me and I rub my wrist without thinking

My thumb traces over the letters that scare my once pure and untainted skin.

Lexa reaches out slowly, eyes still capturing my soul and she grabs my wrist. For the first time I don’t pull away.

She lifts my sleeve up and reads the word scraped into my skin.

“Clarke” she says and I wince when I hear it. It’s been so long since anyone has said it, so long since I’ve even heard it.

I almost forgot what it meant. _Almost._

She looks at me like she understands and I know what she is thinking and I hate it, I hate that she thinks she understands.

“Who was she to you?” Lexa asked, her voice quiet. She understands that she is walking into uncharted waters.

“She was a girl I used to know” is all you say. You’re not lying but you feel guilty.

“Did you love her?” Lexa hesitates as if she can’t swim.

You pause and think “I had too” you finally say.

“…What happened..?” Lexa wasn’t going to ask but she couldn’t help it. She needed to know

You look into her eyes and you hate how she is sympathizing with you.

Lexa has mention Costia before. You hear her name being whimpered when Lexa sleeps. You know who Costia was. And the girl written on your worst is nothing like Costia.

“Don’t look at me like that!” you spit and sound angry and you don’t know why

“You don’t understand anything!” You’re shouting now and it hurts you but you can’t seem to lower your voice.

Lexa looks startled but she does not match your tone instead she says “We all have lost people, you want to forget but you can’t it’s just who you are” she says this calmly and it surprises you.

Mabey she can swim and maybe she already knew this.

You shove your wrists in her face and scream at her to read the name again.

“Clarke! Clarke! Clarke!” She chants.

And you want her to hold you, you want to break down in her arms and scream till your lungs burn. But you can’t and you want to sob but all your tears have been used up.

So you simply whisper your own name over and over.

She wraps her arms around you and you melt into the embrace.

You crumble and crumbling has never felt so nice before.

You feel like dying and you don’t know why.

She holds you for what feels like hours till your sobbing subsides

“Did you love her?” she asks again once you have quieted down.

You pull away and stare at the fire that watches you slowly turning into dust

“I had to” you repeat again but this time you keep talking “I loved her and yet I killed her.”

“Clarke” you say and even after saying it for hours it still sounds foreign on your tongue and leaves a foul taste in your mouth.

“People change in a world like this. We become who we must to survive, the people we once were disappear.” You say

Lexa doesn’t speak she just looks at you like you’re everything and you she lets you continue.

“Clarke is the girl I used to be. She's who I was before all this. But as people grow we change and when things like this happen” you move your hands around and gesture to the end. “We don't just change, we transform…”

Clarke rubs her wrist and Lexa stares down at the name and Clarke continues speaking. She has so much to say and yet she doesn’t even know where to begin.

“…I just didn't want to forget it, when I was this girl it was a whole lot simpler. Then everything turned to dust as the world transformed so did I.”

Lexa looked at Clarke’s face, the fire changing her hair into a burning red.

“I killed her Lexa and I didn't even know till she was long gone. I didn't do this-“ Clarke threw her wrist into Lexa’s face.

“-till I almost forgot it I ALMOST FORGOT my own name and couldn't even remember the spelling at first. I felt no remorse killing her because I didn't even know she died until I had to look at my wrist to figure out what my mom called me” Clarkes sobbing again.

And Lexa garbs her, but this time it’s different. This time she puts one hand on her cheek and one gripping onto the baby blonde hairs at the back of her neck like her life depended on it.

And she kisses her

And Clarke kisses her back like she is everything and Clarkes still sobbing but Lexa can’t seem to mind the salty taste invading her taste buds.

Clarke’s hands find Lexa’s face and Lexa’s arms wrap around Clarke and they hold each other like the ends going to end.

And for once everything feels better than nice.

And when Lexa pulls away she puts her lips to Clarke’s ear and whispers Clarkes name over and over again.

And Clarke lets her.

Let’s her whisper the name that used to haunt her.

She Lets Lexa hold her and keep her steady

She lets her keep her insanity at bay

She lets her give her a reason to live.

She lets herself fall in love over and over again and it feels better than nice so much better.

And Lexa is laughing and so is Clarke and Clarkes crying and so is Lexa

And they stumble into the bedroom and fall into a strangers bed.

Their crying and laughing turns into moans and whispers

Their clothes scattered around the house leaving a trail for the demons to follow but they can’t seem to care.

To lost within one another

And Clarke’s somewhere else but this time she know where she is

She’s with Lexa in a world that’s crashing and crumbling down around them.

Its burning and they let it. Clarke watches it burn as Lexa kisses her like she is everything.

She mumbles Clarke into the blonde’s lips over and over again with Clarke doing the same to Lexa’s.

They lay in the bed of a stranger naked and sweaty and in a world run by the dead they feel alive.

In a world covered in dirt and dust they feel clean.

In a world of destruction they feel safe.

In a world telling them their nothing they feel like their Everything.

In each other’s arms they feel loved.

And as Clarke lays there in a world that’s been turned upside down, naked and sweaty with Lexa mumbling sweet nothings into her ear, nipping at her jaw line and grazing her fingers over the name scratched onto her wrist she feels big even though the world is trying to make her feel small…


End file.
